Saw a video where Bush smiled as he said 'bloodshed.'

We don't need hacks to splice videos of Bush together, this man makes live footage too good to be true.

I'd like to say, if he gets re-elected, I'm leaving the country, but that will only be half true. I'll stay long enough to get certified in massage, then I'm out. No use sitting on the sinking ship hoping help will come, that only gets you killed, or sappy while you watch your pretty boy lover turn into an oceanic icecube...

Not that I'm saying Bush is the titantic, but he's just the tip of the iceburg...

Sweetheart, I ask no more than this,
a kiss to build a dream on.


Drinking = fun.
Drinking around people you like = interesting.
Drinking three days in a row while on little sleep and less food = bad idea.

Getting involved with ex boyfriends = heart breaking.

I keep thinking about him, and we talk, but it's like...I really shouldn't have gone over there, but at the same time, I want to be there right now. I want him to hold me, and have that warm, safe, secure feeling of his arms around me.
Instead, I get to curl up under four blankets with Louis Armstrong in my head.

Do I even want a relationship? I feel like I'm dating three or four people right now. It's ok, I guess, I mean, I'm everything I hated about Josh three years ago, this week, but I haven't been too happy with myself in like a week.
I know I don't want sex.
I know I just want cuddling, and social fun.
And if it happens to be with the girl in my class who winked at me today...well, that's even better. But she's an actor, granted, stunt actor, but she's still got the obnoxious tendencies I can't stand in actors.

My nickname at school is Rainbow, and people think I'm stoner.

If I kept my mouth shut, all weekend, I wouldn't be in this mess. You can't drink, make out, and say stupid things when your mouth is clamped shut.

Dammit, Brian.

Dammit all of you that I've ever had feelings for. Damn my heart for having said feelings.

And words of advice, Don't EVER fucking say I love you to someone unless you plan on saying it forever.

***
Massage party this weekend.

Had a dream I was at Vincent's place (weird, huh, I mean it's not like I wasn't there til like 4-5am last night....) and he had this really old, but somehoe technologically advance laptop/commadore computer. Eric was there and sent me a message on it, and it read: It may be the pot talking, but I think I like you. Do you have a man? If not, would you be interested in hanging out?
Another message including a bio, of which he stated he was born in Canada and couldn't stand some of the things I hated as well.
But when we actually talked, he would give me work advice, waiting for me to respond on the laptop, but I couldn't figure out how.

Last night went a little like this, minus everything. Work all damn day, 1030am to 2am, then Vincent's. I was a little woo-woo from the White Russian Vincent made me at work, (we got to drink free alcohol since we delt with Girl Scouts this morning..hahaha) and Eric teased me about how I looked like I was going to pass out, while I was waiting to check out. It probably wasn't far fromt the truth. He said I shold go to Vincent's and have a few coctails. I said I was. (whereas earlier when he was sending out invited to his own party which is tonight, I told him I totally wouldn't show up).
Then at Vincent's, Eric and I talked about Bad Taste, Bad Brains, (or some punk band like that) and extacy. Apparently he was going to have a shroom party, but when the conversation turned toward e, and I said I would never do a hallucigen, he said, we're totally have a e party.
Made me just a little uncomfortable, the drink Vince made me at his place, totally made me feel like I was on E, so when Eric was talking to me, I just stared, and was like, if we had a E party, I would totally try to make out with you.
Then bammo, the dream where he was telling me he liked me.

Damn, I'm freezing. Stupid winter, and no PJ pants.

Shower time!!

la la la la

cha cha cha die in a horrible fire.