Eric and I are in the middle of a fight. I think we're breaking up. It's not really bothering me, because he's the one who suggested it, and he's the one being a baby.

It started with a comment about how he couldn't capitalize his EQ characters name in multiple places, to the names he thinks that are stupid that parent's named their kids, because in Enlish they seem ridiculous. I couldn't believe how ignorant he was being. As soon as the car stopped in front of my house, I got out. Not a minute later, he was driving away. Ten or so PM he texts me, saying he can't be mad at me, loves me, misses me. I didn't get it, cause the volumn on my phone was off. His next text was how he was staying at his grandma's. I text him about how he needs to go to the New Orleans meeting tonight, to tell Heather (who can be really hard to get a hold of) that we aren't going, because someone else was depending on us for a ride. He won't go. I tell him he dodges responsibilities. He claims I don't love him, and that I'm dwelling on New Orleans. I tell him he's changing the subject, once again dodging, and this goes on for awhile, before he starts talking about picking up his stuff and us breaking up. Then he even goes to say that he's been putting up with me because he loves me (earlier saying he loves my faults-but not mentioning them) and says that I'm worse than he worst ex-girlfriend. I tell him to fuck off for saying that, and that I'll have his stuff ready for him to pick up.

Now he's crying about how I never loved him, and why can't we make our relationship work. Our first fight, and he's already thrown in the towel. He says he doesn't want to break up, now, but still wants an apology from me about a fight he started of his own ignorance. I'm not going through emotional-relationship bullshit, because he's a baby. I'm not his babysitting, and I refuse to be his mother.

He complained about the decline in our relationship without even thinking that maybe clingy immature boys aren't sexy. He complained about how much I talked about 'bartender eric' without wondering why I prefered the fantasy over the reality. And now he claims I have been dating him long enough to know who he is, and that he won't change. Relationships are about compromise, but so is life.

He's jobless now, soon to be homeless, and he doesn't see any flaw in the way he's living his life?

He told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. After the comment about comparing me to his worst ex-girlfriend, he'll be lucky if we hang out again.

Just texted me, he says he's going to throw up and cry himself to sleep. Maybe I should tell him to run to Mary Kay's angel arms...

And so I did.

Fuck guys and their bullshit.

It reminds me of Josh. I hated his bullshit. I hated that feeling that i was worthless unless he was fucking me. I hated that almost daily rejection I felt from him. I hated the feeling that I needed someone.

I don't. And I certainly don't have to put up with someone's diapers and pacifier.

Life will get harder before it's easier. And that's only because I don't have a car to drive myself to school.