Thanks to Kori, Marilyn Manson has been in my head for days. Not actual Marilyn Manson, but his cover of Tainted Love.
'I love you though you hurt me so.'

Why do I get this feeling, this burning need to hold someone's affection. It's never the someone I have around me. It's always a someone from my past. Someone, maybe, whose affection I never really had.
Then there is the mystery, the poetry, the romance, of an unsolved love affair. At first, I thought it was song lyrics, even now, I still hope that's the case, because then I could listen to the song. But then I wonder, what if it was more. What if it was something momentous that I missed out on. It seems though that all my romances, as well as some of the great fictional ones, involve a missed connection. That's the key, isn't it? Leave them wanting for more.

I'm current unsatisfied. I am trying to fulfill myself, but in the process of change, pain lingers. At first, it will be someone else's pain, then it will be my own, then, the longing. The longing always follows. Maybe not for everyone, but for everyone worth considering.

If I try, I know none of this has to happen, but if I don't do anything, I'll be right here, with the flame waiting for burn so bright, and the dreams untold.

Follow through, finish something, accomplish a goal. Maybe I feel so hollow because I am empty inside. Maybe if I can fill myself up with somethingness, I won't feel so useless.

Definition. I need less 'I don't knows,' 'maybes,' and 'what ifs.' Why can't more be less?

Even now, as I write, there is a sense of lacking. There is some great note I'm trying to write, some great epiphany I'm trying to gain, and all that I feel is hidden. More secrets.

Last night the urge to write hit me. I should write more. I know there is something in me. Always something trying to get out.

Maybe I can write here. Turn all my energies into words. Words of longing. Maybe I should just write. Write for me, because in the end, that's who really cares.

I care. I care for something I can't define. Words have no meaning when pure emotion is involved. I feel.

I feel.