Alu Ionae

2005-07-25T02:49:00.000-05:00

Today has been too weird and crazy for me. I found out way too many things, and now I can't sleep because I'm excited.I should really stop using the internet. Seriously. I spend way too much time trying to look up things that leads to looking up other things. And now I'm on the verge of pursuing some contact information for someone I haven't seen in years, and it's really all so silly.

2005-06-02T01:30:00.000-05:00

Something I have to share, as well as my response to the person who sent it to me:http://observer.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,6903,1263753,00.html You have no idea how glad I was to read that article. I really enjoy how catastophically humans view the decline of their reproduction. It's like the general public isn't aware of how over-populated the planet is. If Mother Nature is really to blame

2005-05-30T00:39:00.000-05:00

There is something wonderful about Carol King. Namely, her album, Tapestry.I feel so serene, and in love, and in peace with anything.I also had a great conversation tonight.Thank you.

2005-05-28T23:53:00.000-05:00

I think suicidal thoughts are a good thing. They give you a great chance, every once in awhile, to put things in perspective.For instance:Right now, my life feels unproductive and wasteful. I go to class for four hours a day, every weekday, and listen to my classmates make jackasses of themselves, while not actually doing any sort of work. Then, I go home, and sit in front of my computer until

2005-05-23T05:58:00.000-05:00

If there is a word, and I'm not just talking about Nihlists, if there is a word to describe the void which I am feeling, I am that word. I don't care, and I feel nothing.Empty, yet fulfilled. At peace, even, with this sensation.

2005-05-22T17:37:00.000-05:00

Taking out the Trash: a flash into memories.That's what deleting old emails is really. I went back to 2001, cleaning out my mailbox. The last one, still undeleted, from my CA at NIU. She's giving the girls on the floor directions for using the bathroom. It was classic and hilarious.I also saw my life through three boyfriends while cleaning house. Most of which were also deleted, unless they

2005-05-20T21:29:00.000-05:00

I'm going to an audition this weekend. Somehow.It's in Lisle, but I'm really excited about it. There is a role for a Russian actress from the 3's/40's in it. I love just saying her name in an accent, 'Reveka, Reveka.'I'm already thinking about what I could wear.Although, I really don't like the audition piece. I don't want to audition for the role of a weenie heart sick girl, I want to

2005-05-20T12:05:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Kori, Marilyn Manson has been in my head for days. Not actual Marilyn Manson, but his cover of Tainted Love.'I love you though you hurt me so.'Why do I get this feeling, this burning need to hold someone's affection. It's never the someone I have around me. It's always a someone from my past. Someone, maybe, whose affection I never really had.Then there is the mystery, the poetry, the

2005-05-15T21:16:00.000-05:00

My mom must be in a helluva mood today. Pretty much yelled at me any time I was near her. I know I wouldn't be in this mess if Hollywood wasn't run but an idiot and apparently the idiot's bitchy fiancee. Went to a mostly Hollywood employee party last night. Didn't get there til about 3am. About an hour later the party broke up. It was mostly just a social occasion. All they had was

2005-05-12T00:32:00.000-05:00

Serendipity:Found a great place to live in, in Logan Square, one bedroom, practically no kitchen, large bathroom, decent amount of living/dining area, $595 a month. The owner was a woman with an Irish accent. I just about fell in love with this place. However, we couldn't afford to move in. The security deposit is what killed us. A month and a half rent. Plus rent, all due June 1. I really

2005-05-04T10:49:00.000-05:00

Ok, long crazy dream time.I'm wandering the halls of Mt. Greenwood. It's the end of the day, so we're getting our stuff from our lockers and leaving. Short, little Chad Ramos is nearby, talking in a little squeaky voice. I look up at him and we sort of smile at eachother, then go back to our lockers.I leave the school and start the walk home down 109th st. He's walking that way, too. It's like

2005-04-29T18:10:00.000-05:00

Word of advice. Don't have ex-boyfriends. They only make you want to puke. And the ones you were really hung up, make your puke want to vomit. The smug little assholes. They may be cute...but BARF!!No, really, I'm in a secure, loving relationship, and I still get nausea over the thought of some of the people I've been with. <\3my 2cp. er two cents...you know what, i should be in norrath...

2005-04-28T23:28:00.000-05:00

American Cities That Best Fit You:75% Las Vegas70% Austin65% Atlanta65% Seattle60% DenverWhich American Cities Best Fit You?Taking this little quiz was interested because just previous I was having a discussion with Eric about how 'technically' my house is in Chicago. The southern part, but it IS Chicago. He works in the loop, and does not consider where I live Chicago. He says I can say it is

2005-04-24T18:20:00.000-05:00

Cady Heron Which Mean Girl are you? brought to you by Quizilla

2005-04-18T01:22:00.000-05:00

Interesting thought. I asked Eric (we're back together, everything's golden) if he ever felt that even though he knew what his name was, if sometimes it didn't feel like his name. He said yes.I feel that way a lot. I think, however, that it's more a case that no one ever calls me by my name. It's either no title, or hun, hey, cutie, etc. Thought for Food.

2005-04-15T00:07:00.000-05:00

Quiet Girl What kind of little girl were YOU? brought to you by Quizilla

2005-04-13T11:51:00.000-05:00

Eric's things are all packed up on the porch. I'm not sure how to feel.I'm not going through more wishy washy uncertainty. He's the one that thought our one actual fight meant our relationship was on the rocks. He's the one that threw in the towel. He's the one that can't seem to grow up enough to handle a real relationship. He sent me plenty of texts, crying and apologizing. He misses me,

2005-04-13T00:24:00.000-05:00

Eric and I are in the middle of a fight. I think we're breaking up. It's not really bothering me, because he's the one who suggested it, and he's the one being a baby. It started with a comment about how he couldn't capitalize his EQ characters name in multiple places, to the names he thinks that are stupid that parent's named their kids, because in Enlish they seem ridiculous. I couldn't

2005-04-11T11:56:00.000-05:00

Haven't really had computer access the beginning of this year. Too much shit going down. Too much shit all around.Took until last week for me to get over Hollywood. Mike told us that Cheri had told Pete that we weren't allowed in Hollywood anymore, because she heard us talking shit about it. For starters, we weren't, atleast not there. Secondarily, Eric was talking shit about Nonnie's, for

2005-01-22T01:50:00.000-06:00

Read a couple blogs I haven't looked at in awhile. Mostly cause I don't have an internet connection in my nomadic lifestyle, but also mostly cause I really don't care. I only check them when I'm really bored. It's kind of terrible. I need new things to do online if I'm going to waste my time here. Well, actually, I don't care much for the internet anymore. I think I just like having it for

2004-12-25T16:26:00.000-06:00

Happy Cold Winter Day! Everyone. For those of you who are into the whole Christmas thing, WHERE ARE MY PRESENTS??!! For those of you who are smarter than that, wanna just hang out sometime? Kiel, your present is still being held prisoner in the store, but don't worry, I'm going to rescue it... For those of you who know of job openings, let me know. Pretty much everyone who was working at

2004-12-16T03:19:00.000-06:00

Both occupants off 228D Cherokee (?) said it was ok for me to spend the night there. One was out of state, and one was just lonely. Perhaps I would have, had I had clean clothes to wear the following day, and had I been home soemtime in the past four + days. I kept thinking Brent might have a problem with me having a key to the place, but instead, he had a bigger problem with me going home

2004-12-12T01:27:00.000-06:00

Being sick = no fun. I am at home, at 1:30am on a saturday/sunday night, instead of beign on stage, in just my undies, because I'm sick. On the plus side, it gives me an 'extra' week of for sure being Janet. However, I had a free day off, and I slept most of it away. No costumes were made, no cleaning was done. (I did get the Sims and EQ fully installed back on my computer though...a project

2004-11-29T01:19:00.000-06:00

12:03am. I get a text message. From Eric. Happy Birthday. Isn't he the greatest? <3

2004-11-26T03:17:00.000-06:00

Turkey Day was spent at the DeCamp's. I love Eric's parents. His mother said she could tell Eric met someone cause he's been smiling lately. Eric's dad is a great big goof, and his grandmother is a spirited woman who won't go down without a fight. It felt like a family, and it was good. The food was good, too. Eric's mother was talking to me about how she wants to have grandchildren she can

2004-11-20T07:37:00.000-06:00

It didn't really occur to me, until just now, that I almost made Mel Gibson walked into a camera and hurt himself. He was talking to me, and not paying attention to where he was walking (backwards) and almost nailed his head into a large heavy camera. Mentality like this came to me while watching an All-American Rejects music video (swing swing), and realizing that the singer is nowhere nearly

2004-11-20T05:34:00.000-06:00

infiniteiota: man, i love itunes SwornAbsent: omg SwornAbsent: marriage off

2004-11-20T03:38:00.000-06:00

My mom and I got into another argument. The same sort we've been having since I was 16. Hickies, as it would seem, are the bane of my mother's existance. As they are now part of my body, I, too, seem to be on this shit list. I told her they were hazing from Rocky Horror. She seems to be anti-Rocky as well as anti-me, right now. I really hate having this fight over and over. I know it's

2004-11-12T20:27:00.000-06:00

While cleaning out part of my basement, read: looking for a cd, I found a sheet from a story I tried to write while at NIU. I did a decent amount of research for that book, and would have probably knocked some socks off if I finished it. Moral? I need time off to start writing again. BTW, I'm married, her name is Jess!. We're in love.

2004-11-12T20:10:00.000-06:00

Take the quiz: "What Kind of Kiss Are You?"Tender KissThe tender kiss is the feeling where you can be anywhere and show your feelings.

2004-11-12T17:26:00.000-06:00

Last night I spent the night at Eric's. Jess! and I decided to turn CandyLand and Shutes and Ladders into drinking games. That was kind of a bad idea. I got pretty, I don't know, trashed maybe? I definitely know I think I passed out or something, cause there is a part of the night I don't remember, even though Eric said he didn't think I fell asleep. I know I was pretty tired, but I don't know I

2004-11-09T14:53:00.000-06:00

And if you're lonely, you know that I am here waiting for you. I'm just a cross hair. I'm just a shot away from you. And if you leave me, you know that you leave me broken and blue. I'm just a cross hair. I'm just a shot away from you.

2004-11-06T13:30:00.000-06:00

Had another dream about Eric last night. This time Heather and I were at some venue on the north side, one of my highschool days, and Eric was performing. When I saw him go onstage, I had to laugh at the silly goofball, who had swapped one shoe with another member of the band. He was really entertaining to watch on stage, but Heather, who was kind of like Jessi, wanted to leave. At some

2004-11-03T01:38:00.000-06:00

When you're trying not to be in love with someone, it doesn't help when a mutual co-worker tells you that she thinks he likes you.... Just as well, don't think I can sleep unless a certain someone sends me a text. Of which, I'm receiving right now. And now I'll leave my comp, cause this lack of monitorial red, isn't pleasant.

2004-10-29T03:01:00.000-05:00

Thank goodness. My charm was found the second I turned back my blankets to sleep. Moral of the story, I want to find a jewelry to turn it into an earring for me. g'night everyone.

2004-10-29T01:26:00.000-05:00

Creativity has it's risks. I turned my comedy/tradegy masks necklace into an earring and just now I noticed the charm was missing. It fell off today. And now I'm sad, because I really really liked that necklace/earring. I should sue Walmart for selling cheap earring hooks. I mean, it's not like I can say hey Dan, go back to Mexico and get me another one of those...

2004-10-28T13:36:00.000-05:00

Last night Heather showed me where my life should be, or closer to where it should be. I knew there was a reason I met, and quickly bonded, with her. PJ, where ever you are, I'm sorry I stopped practicing. I'm hoping my newfound (again) faith, supports me through school. I have a meeting with a counselor tomorrow. I need to solidfy myself, and this, I believe, will help. Halloween is

2004-10-26T08:58:00.000-05:00

Have already overslept today, and missed the lecture part of school. My alarm wasn't even on apparently. I'm failing school, and don't even seem to care. Is this depression? I'm listening to Jon Brion's Knock Yourself Out. I love that song, and I LOVE 'I heart Huckabees' and I haven't even seen it yet. I think it's the song. I really really love this song. So if this song is depressing,

2004-10-23T02:45:00.000-05:00

A dildo and a body pillow with replace my need for a boyfriend/girlfriend, but nothing can replace what a friend can do for me.

2004-10-23T02:02:00.000-05:00

So, I just got off the phone with James, and I'm a little sniffly. He started asking me about Dustin, in an attempt to move my relationship with James to some different ground, and I started tearing up. I hate this. I meet someone really fun to talk to, hang out with, listens to great music, and he wants a relationship, and I just need a friend. I need a friend so badly I'm going to cry

2004-10-23T01:12:00.000-05:00

Turning my mouse into a left handed mouse has made even more Mac like, cause now I don't 'right click' at all. Working on my Harley Quinn costume. I'm glad Kiel came over and motivated me to shop for it, cause now I'll have another cool cosplay item in my collection. I'm pretty sure I told Eric I'd make his costume too, Lucky Bear, so that means Monday, I'll probably be back at the fabric

2004-10-20T14:07:00.000-05:00

School was long and just about exhausting, considering I started out tired. Think I got about 50 on my test. Just as well, I didn't get to study at all. Yesterday I actually thought about leaving the school. But I should stick it out, get this damn certification, so I don't have to start this shit all over again. Eric (massage eric) told me he thinks my school is better than his. I think he

2004-10-18T03:19:00.000-05:00

Frank died. The first person Eric called was me. I could hear the tears in his voice, and more than anything I wanted to run to him, and hold him. Instead, I stayed at Vincent's, drinking til 8am. I've been at Vincent's/with Vince over 24 hours, including work. I knew Eric would be at work today, and this caused my stomach to tumble, flip flop, and go nuts. My heart sank only a little when

2004-10-15T11:05:00.000-05:00

Breaking my back just to know your name. Somebody told me you had a boyfriend that looked like a girlfriend. It's not confidential, I've got potential. *** I get home and wonder what that strong smell is in my house. I also get home at 7am. Zero sleep, have to leave in 15 mins to go to class. Yeah, I totally just woke up at 11, missing my lecture. Work, then BWW's to get massage feedback

2004-10-14T14:48:00.000-05:00

Last night I was at Eric's birthday party (after an always enjoyable night of work, of course). It was jolly good fun. I gave like 12 massages, and had two 1/2 oz shots of Jaegermeister. Including one with my manager Mike. Eric liked the Spaz Juice and Bamboo plant I gave him, although, toward the end of the night he had forgotten what I had given him. Down side? I saw the girls strip Eric

2004-10-12T01:50:00.000-05:00

Nemesis04: don't be cynical of love, fall in love and have your heart broken over and over and over again infiniteiota: i get excited about things infiniteiota: but i'm not going to throw my heart into a blender Nemesis04: that's the thing is you don't know if its a blender or a pillow, so your getting to afraid to throw it at all infiniteiota: is it possible, for people to change enough that

2004-10-12T01:10:00.000-05:00

At work today, I served a table with a spiritist sitting at it. She grabbed my hand while I was taking their order and began telling me things. She said I had someone in my life, someone close who I had had a relationship with that left me emotionally scared. She said I had given 150 percent and he only gave 2 percent. I was surprised at this. She said she was getting such strong vibrations

2004-10-11T15:49:00.000-05:00

It's quiet now And what it brings Is everything Comes calling back A brilliant night I'm still awake I looked ahead I'm sure I saw you there You don't need me To tell you now That nothing can compare You might have laughed if I told you You might have hidden A frown You might have succeeded in changing me I might have been turned around It's easier to leave than to be left behind Leaving

2004-10-11T15:37:00.000-05:00

Don’t wish it away Don’t look at it like it’s forever Between you and me I could honestly say That things can only get better And while I’m away Dust out the demons inside And it won’t be long before you and me run To the place in our hearts where we hide And I guess that’s why they call it the blues Time on my hands could be time spent with you Laughing like children, living like lovers

2004-10-11T05:33:00.000-05:00

I saw my life, tonight, as it could be, in another dimension/lifeline. I was married. In a beaufiful wooden floored home. There was a poet, cast in shadows, the hero to my heroine. I was happy. Reality hit, crashing in with the slamming of a door. I found myself, lost and alone. Answers poured out to me, re-affirming everything I had held to be true. And 45 minutes before the

2004-10-07T01:23:00.000-05:00

Saw a video where Bush smiled as he said 'bloodshed.' We don't need hacks to splice videos of Bush together, this man makes live footage too good to be true. I'd like to say, if he gets re-elected, I'm leaving the country, but that will only be half true. I'll stay long enough to get certified in massage, then I'm out. No use sitting on the sinking ship hoping help will come, that only gets

2004-10-06T01:33:00.000-05:00

Sweetheart, I ask no more than this, a kiss to build a dream on. Drinking = fun. Drinking around people you like = interesting. Drinking three days in a row while on little sleep and less food = bad idea. Getting involved with ex boyfriends = heart breaking. I keep thinking about him, and we talk, but it's like...I really shouldn't have gone over there, but at the same time, I want to be

2004-10-03T11:35:00.000-05:00

Had a dream I was at Vincent's place (weird, huh, I mean it's not like I wasn't there til like 4-5am last night....) and he had this really old, but somehoe technologically advance laptop/commadore computer. Eric was there and sent me a message on it, and it read: It may be the pot talking, but I think I like you. Do you have a man? If not, would you be interested in hanging out? Another

2004-09-30T01:04:00.000-05:00

My mom is on the phone with her friend, talking about my blood poisoning. It's minor. I've been telling people it's the T-Virus mutating inside of me. My uncle looked at it tonight, and said we have to start treating it, cause if it reaches my heart, I'll be dead. Doesn't explain why the line would be moving so slow though. I mean, a drop of blood can flow through you're entire system in a

2004-09-29T18:26:00.000-05:00

Hey hun, can't wait to see you again. :) smiles and hugs. Dustin ~hehe...*grin*

2004-09-28T23:55:00.000-05:00

I'm smiley. I think it has a bit to do with a silly pin I received from Dustin. He's got one like it on his jacket. I hung out with him and his friends on the north side tonight, mostly wandering around the Silver District. I thought about how much this seemed like highschool, then found out one of the girls is 19 and one is 20...not too far off. They were cool, though. One carries a knife

2004-09-28T14:31:00.000-05:00

I served two asian men last night, and one totally reminded me of Jackie Chan. I love Jackie. Like, even his worse movie, which could easily be the Tuxedo, is great cause it's him. And even though it wasn't the real deal, and I still don't have a chance in hell, they did leave me a $15 tip. It's days like today, when it's gorgeous out (it started out freezing) that knowing I'm driving to

2004-09-26T23:55:00.000-05:00

TV's are evil, but damn if I'm not hooked on Will & Grace and Dharma & Greg. I mean, I'm not hooked on them like I was Melrose Place, where I made sure I was at home watching, or taping them, but I'm hooked like, if it's on, I'm watching. Sorry to those on AIM when it happens. I'm still sniffly sick, and my head pounded at work, but I'm feeling good. Like a down to the earth, home grown good.

2004-09-25T13:12:00.000-05:00

Last night, I dressed up in a white bra, white slip, white panties, and black shoes. With the aid of Warren, Kiel, and some alcohol, we made our way to a party on the north side. I met someone from MySpace. He was very awesome. Then I met someone from CL. We picked her up at the theatre where Rocky Horror was supposed to be showing last night, and we kidnapped her to the party. Back at the

2004-09-23T13:03:00.000-05:00

Silly, silly girl. What am I waiting for? I've been asking for signs, hoping for fate, and I get it, at every turn. So what am I afraid of? In reality, I'm a coward onto myself, because I'm afraid of me, and my ideas. I want endless options, but how many choices have I been making? I'd like to say, I'm misinterpreting the signs, as I've done before, but it's kind of funny the way they're

2004-09-22T13:01:00.000-05:00

I've decided that Kiel can never go away. Sure, he can meet a girl, get married, whatever, but so long as she understands, I found him first, and she needs to find someone else to be her bestfriend, cause I've got dibs on him. Hung out with Josh last night. It was instigated on rather Hi Fidelity terms. I wanted to make out with someone because I had a bad night. Weird, that that image

2004-09-22T01:02:00.000-05:00

I almost cried at work today. Somehow, I lost all my tips. Minus, well what I paid for dinner. I know I made tips, but when I cashed out, all I have left what was Heather gave me for pizza. I think it broke my manager, Rita, 's heart when I gave the bartender tip out an extra dollar. She was willing to go digging through the trash with me to find my money, but I'm pretty sure the bag was in

2004-09-21T01:41:00.000-05:00

Co-worker, Mark (?), asked me today if I was married. I smiled, no. I didn't have to, but I added, I don't even have a boyfriend. He replied, I'll fill the spot. /sigh... Why is it so easy for some people? And why aren't those people...Eric or *you*.

2004-09-20T14:35:00.000-05:00

Today is a beautiful amazing day. I took care of school, which is awesome. And drove through downtown, like actual downtown, on my way home, and it was great. I felt so relaxed and peaceful. I wanted to yell at some cretin who was honking his horn at a taxi driver for not speeding when the light changed green. Randolph and Wabash. /sigh. <3 I think I more than one beautiful summer at that

2004-09-20T01:00:00.000-05:00

I want to fall in love. Either that or burn the tv my mom leaves on all the time. Will & Grace is such a great show. I'm starting to think Kiel is my Will, minus the gay thing. But then Dharma and Greg came on, the first episode kinda thing, and it was like...I want to fall in love. But at the same time, I can't say that there is someone out there for me. If he figures me out (i want to

2004-09-19T13:08:00.000-05:00

Today is supposed to be 'talk like a pirate' day, according to my Captain Ashley. But I'm not cool enough to talk like a pirate. I was cool enough to hang out with co-workers last night, uncluding my head server boss, who is trying to get me to pass my food test. Apparently, although I'm not a big time drinker, I passed my alcohol test in one shot. (no pun intended). But this food test

2004-09-18T15:16:00.000-05:00

Watching 'Peggy Sue Got Married' makes me want to marry Brian Norton, let 20 years pass, and fall back in love with him all over again. I really need to rekindle an old romance, or find one that makes me feel all flustery. And like the movie, I wouldn't mind if his name was Charlie or something cool that like. Damn, I'm going to emo cry myself to sleep, or during work. Now back to a movie

2004-09-18T10:53:00.000-05:00

Nemesis04: also, i'm still not immortalized in either of your blogs as the hero of the ages.....and i'm becoming a little impatient Kiel is my hero. My car ran out of gas on Thursday, on 55, and he came and gas me gas and saved me from the horrible cop that was waiting for arrest me. He used a sword too, and a bow, like Robin Hood. It was great. In reward, I danced with him and made a

2004-09-16T10:45:00.000-05:00

After I decided to give it up, last night was flirt with bartender night. He's really cute when he smiles. He was fun to flirt with too. I asked for a drink order, and he gave me a funny look, I asked him if he wanted to fight, he said yeah. I said let's go outside. He said ok. And hour or so later, I went back there, and said, what's the deal, I've been waiting outside and you're a no show

2004-09-15T16:00:00.000-05:00

My nails are wet as I type this. I've been so tired lately. And when I wake up in the morning, I don't think I have anything to post. Job is still good. Erin is going to be an awesome makeup artist. My aunt gave me an amazing dress to wear. And I'm in love with a lizard. Going to spend some time in Bloomington soon. For a zombie movie and to hang out with Todd, and Bret, if he begs

2004-09-12T11:23:00.000-05:00

I must have zero stamina for the night life scene. I was pretty much wiped by the time I left work, and it only went down from there. Granted, I did have fun, but I was sooo tired. Julia's party was so hot and smokey. I'm glad I went, I won't be seeing her for a long while, unless enough money comes into my possession to go visit her in London, which would be so VERY. (yes, I'm trying to

2004-09-11T13:51:00.000-05:00

Last night I posed the question: What if love came knocking on your door. Your destined, true love. And if wasn't what you were hoping for? This was posed, mostly due to my attempt (laugh all you want) to find Dream Guy on Myspace. I found a couple who seemed like they could be him, and I sent them messages. Especially to one guy, who also had a mysterious dream girl, and loves zombies.

2004-09-09T01:55:00.000-05:00

Dear Diary, *giggle* I have a crush on this bartender at work. *giggle* Please let him fall madly in love with me. ~grace <3

2004-09-07T17:01:00.000-05:00

Contest over. We have a winner. I'm in love with:

2004-09-07T03:38:00.000-05:00

So tired. Waking up early, then trying to nerd out at night, isn't working too well. On the plus side, my job still rocks so hard I don't know what to do. Tomorrow. PP. Being a woman sucks sometimes. Tonight, sleeping on a bed. My bed, one which might smell like rotting flesh, but that's what I get for letting my brother borrow it. Rotting Flesh. I thought about how if I wasn't afraid of

2004-09-04T08:44:00.000-05:00

This dream, last night, had me petrified while I was dreaming it. I was at some military base. I don't know why. It was divided into islands. The one island, was inhabited by zombies. The military men would be hunting around it during the day, the back at base at night. I was in this guy's room, looking out the window, scared stiff, by the image of the island I could see from it. I asked

2004-09-02T14:39:00.000-05:00

Talking to Theron is like little rays of sunshine on a murky, bog-like day.

2004-09-02T13:32:00.000-05:00

Spent some days in Michigan. Did lots of thrift store shopping. First night I was there, I looked at my bed, the one by the window, and the first thought that came to me, 'I was sitting there, staring out the window at night, during my 17th Birthday, thinking of Bill.' Only goes to show that there is a gap now. I don't think about him. Which is good and bad. I don't know why I'm online so

2004-08-25T15:29:00.000-05:00

If this is crazy, lock me up for life. The Dream Man. I was walking, or rather, skating down the street, when this guy in a Jeep Cheroke pulls out of a drive way. He's got really long, pink hair. Like Maynard, only pink. The Jeep is this matted green color, like pea green or lighter, and it's a good paint job, but the paint was obviously like house paint or something. I figured the guy was a

2004-08-25T12:18:00.000-05:00

I'll have to save another post to talk about the new love of my life. But for now, all I want to say, is omg you dorks. http://www.fallenascension.com/ How do you have an EQ guild, with a chunk of members, for a game that hasn't even come out yet? And isn't all this guild participation taking away from all your other gamer needs? All I know is that the more I read about EQII, the more I like

2004-08-24T09:39:00.000-05:00

Like Amelie, I think I'm prefering my imagination over reality. I had the sweetest dream last night. Granted it was spliced with EQ, and my repeatedly dying on my cleric while trying to run from pumas, gating or this girl who wanted to kill me. The other part was me re-falling in love with someone. I think that's sweeter that the first time. You've been there, done that, and ended it. But,

2004-08-24T02:22:00.000-05:00

Thank goodness my last post appeared. I was worried I'd have to type it all over again, and really, it's just not the same the second time around. Going to attempt the name change tomorrow. Cool stuff huh? To balance that off, I started on Drinal in EQ. My rogue is now lvl 13. But it's fun cause RL (for you warren) friends are on that server, so I feel like i'm sort of social. It only

2004-08-22T14:25:00.000-05:00

This has been a long and exhausting weekend. Yes, I had fun. Yes, I actually had money. But somehow I still feel like I'm in the red. Like, the money I have left over, won't be enough to make my mom happy. I owe her a lot of money. Well, only like $600, but that's still a lot. Friday night, Brooke and I went to Circuit. Chix Mix was having a Glow party. We got there at exactly 1030, and

2004-08-19T12:07:00.000-05:00

If I feel in love with you, would you promise to be true, and help me understand. Cause I fell in love before and I found that love was more than just holding hands... -Beatles. Had a dream about Dave Ramirez last night. Woke up and just thought about the time in the ROTC room where he grabbed the belt on my jumper and pulled me into his lap. Times like that when my bliss was so simple, and

2004-08-16T16:09:00.000-05:00

I have an audition at 6:20 tonight. I think I'm starting to get nervous. I wouldn't be so nervous if Colby hadn't sent me more sides, and tried to give me pointers on how to audition. Now I feel like I'm going to go in there and be the worst. Atleast if I read it cold, I couldn't get yelled at for doing it wrong, but now that I have an idea of what they're looking for, I feel like I'm going

2004-08-14T10:58:00.000-05:00

I don't know what I was thinking when I thought I could put off my monologue until five hours before my audition. Maybe I thought I was just going to use the insanely obnoxious monologue I saw in Borders, without even memorizing that one. It was really simple, describe your morning in short, terrible sentences. I woke up. Pushed back the covers. Got out of bed. Went to the kitchen. Took

2004-08-14T01:09:00.000-05:00

Saw Boomstick! tonight with Kiel. Going to see shows with Kiel is easily becoming one of my favorite activites. This show was amazing. Hilarious parts including, but not limited to, Arthur straightening his chest hair, Ash lying in a kiddie pool, screaming about pain while staying still, and a nerdy S-Mart employee lap dancing a red stobe light. *glee* All in all, it's Swell!

2004-08-12T12:46:00.000-05:00

Bullshit is another way to wake up to. http://www.cnn.com/2004/LAW/08/12/samesex.marriage.ap/index.html It's like, these people don't count as citizens, because they have no rights as far as the government is concerned. I mean, if all these assholes that believe in marriage between a man and a woman, can't stand people who actually love eachother getting married, they should buy us a great

2004-08-12T12:35:00.000-05:00

Last night I had a dream that left me feeling quite alone when I woke up. Or is it lonely? Dan had come over to my house. But it wasn't now. It wasn't then. It was an alternate timeline, where we held no animosity. He came over, and we fooled around, almost having sex, except he stopped it, claiming he heard something. I was a bit frazzled, but we stopped nonetheless. As soon as we

2004-08-12T00:07:00.000-05:00

Talked to this girl Erin today. She says she's going to help out with my photoshoot, as makeup/hair stylist. I'm so psyked. I talked to her once, and I'm excited to work with her. She sounds really cool, and she works in the same parking lot as I used to, in Naperville, so I'm going to have no problem dropping in on her at work. bwahahahaha. She thinks my idea to do flapper, and peachy keen

2004-08-10T22:30:00.000-05:00

Existing lies. A conversation with Colby, and I figured it out. My perpetual struggle to be as honest as I can be has always failed because we are existing lies. Everyone lies, just by socially interacting. You can't be honest with everyone, because you're bound to say something that doesn't agree with someone else, then you're in trouble. Honesty isn't nice. No one really wants to hear

2004-08-05T01:45:00.000-05:00

I'm leaving my first post as posterity. I forgot I created this thing. I'd like to say this will be an ode to something, but for now, let's just say, nothing in my life is consistent, and neither will this be. I'm in the process of becoming a lesbian. (How's that for subject change?) The only thing stopping me in my inexperience with women, down there. Not that I'm in it for the sex. Sex,

2002-12-30T02:12:00.000-06:00

I feel like such a sell out...but this is what happens when I get bored...I decide to make changes to my site...and I prefer them to be interactive...well, time to see how this experiment went...